I always think of the best way to word things right before I fall asleep at night, and then I forget. A couple of days ago, I was forced to face something I've been running from for over a decade; a near deadly mistake I made when I was nineteen that keeps haunting me. I'll … Continue reading Chaos and Shivers
Tag: BPD
What Am I Doing?
Growing up, the main focus was always "graduate high school, go to college". I fought every obstacle thrown my way, and I graduated high school. I decided to take a year off before going to college, because of how topsy turvy my life was those last two years. But then I never went. Here I … Continue reading What Am I Doing?
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Love Me, Need Me, Hold Me
Do you ever feel like you crave affection so much that you need it to survive, like water? I feel this in phases. Sometimes, I'm fine. Other times, I practically need an IV of affection, constantly flowing through me so I can't wander off. That's one of my personal struggles with borderline personality disorder; if … Continue reading Love Me, Need Me, Hold Me
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Motherhood and BPD
Being a mother and also a borderline is so incredibly difficult sometimes. I love these little humans with everything I have, and when they're actually getting along or listening to me, things are fantastic. It's when they're doing the opposite of those things that I become extremely overwhelmed and I start taking it personally. I've … Continue reading Motherhood and BPD
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A Radical Acceptance Experience
Some friends of mine have decided to throw a surprise birthday party for someone on a day that I'm unavailable. I told them that it was fine, not to try and plan it on another day because of me, seeing as I was the only one who couldn't make it. But internally I'm angry, and … Continue reading A Radical Acceptance Experience
BPD: A Journey 