Insecurities

It’s one of those days where I’m starting to doubt publicly sharing my journey. I waver between wanting to help those fellow BPD warriors who are seeking advice and support and just wanting to know they’re not alone. But then I’m scared. I’m afraid of meeting new people, and them being unable to see all of the things I’m doing to improve myself, for myself and for those in my life. I’m afraid of great people judging me and being afraid of me because of these mental health labels.

But yet I don’t want to shy away from these facts about myself. I do have borderline personality disorder. I have it because of the way I was raised. I do have anxiety, which also stems from my childhood. Throw in a few cups of depression and several tablespoons of binge eating disorder and that’s the recipe for who I am.

I’m also very loving. I love fiercely. I love my husband and my kids. I also love coloring books. I love music, and reading, and I LOVE video games.

I don’t want this label, this mental illness to identify all of me, because it’s not all of who I am. I’m sure many others feel this way about whatever mental illness they have. It does not identify us. It’s merely a piece of this grand puzzle that makes each of us individuals with different things to offer the world.